Dare the Portal gang!
by Emhasproblems
Summary: Dare the Portal cast! Chell, Caroline, Cave, GLaDOS, Wheatley, anyone!
1. Chapter 1 Intro

**hello** **everyone! This is basically a place where you can dare the characters from Portal to do almost anything! (inappropriate, slash, and nude dares will be egnored). You can ask Chell, GLaDOS, P-Body, Atlas, the cores, turrets, anyone! Now let's meet our contenders. **

**Chell**: ...hello...

**Wheatley**: Hello! Ah, your rather...tall. Please don't kill me...!

**GLaDOS**: I am simply doing this by choice. I could kill you with neurotoxin, turrets, or anything else at any second.

**P-Body**: Hey! hehe~

**Atlas**: I'm only doing this because P-Body is...

**Cave Johnson**: Huh? What is the meaning of this?

**Caroline**: We seem to be on some sort of stage sir...

**Dr. Rattmann**: Huh? What the...?

**Oracle**: People will dare us all. Many of us will face challenges not meant for us.

**Mel:** Uh...Chell? What in the world is going on? Who are these people?

**Craig/fact core**: Fact: all your dares will be stupid and un-needed.

**Rick/adventure core**: You don't know nothin' Craig!

**Curi/curiosity core**: What am I doing here? Is that Space? Why are there so many people?

**Space/space core**: Space! I'm the best at space! Where's space? We were in space just a little while ago...!

**Amy/morality core**:...Ross please. Calm down.

**Ross/anger core**: I HATE YOU ALL. ESPECIALLY THE PIGTAILED FREAK WHO RUNS THIS THING.

**Hey! I take offense to that Ross. Besides, a lot of people wear pigtails. Anyway, dare them!**

**((I do not own any of the characters in this story, except for myself, of course 0n0. All of these homies belong to Valve.))**


	2. Chapter 2 Kisses and Combustible Lemons

**Hello once again! It's me, 3mm4. I am here again with the portal gang, and I have three dares. for GLaDOS, Ross and Craig, Cave Johnson, and Wheatley. **

**GLaDOS**: Oh Great. Some pathetic weakling dared me. Ugh, just tell me what it is and be done with it.

**You are dared to...tell us what the Companion Cubes are made of!**

**GLaDOS**: Oh, is that all? I expected more from you things. They are simply made of metal, some cushioning, and there are heaters inside of them. Simple as that.

**Ah, I expected something cool! Oh well. The next dare is for...Craig and Ross. Ross, you are dared to...kiss Craig! **

**Ross**: OH GREAT. I HAVE TO KISS THE MOST ANNOYING CORE IN THIS WHOLE GROUP TOO.

**Craig**: Fact: I am the most important and non-annoying core ever made.

**Ross**: UGH. *he punches Craig*

**Craig**: *holds place where he was punched* Hey! Why did you do that?!

**Ross**: BECAUSE A KISS WITH A FRICKING FIST IS BETTER THAN NONE. YOU IDIOTS HAPPY NOW?!

**Well that was...awkward, to say the least. Next dare is for...Wheatley! You are dared to play Slender! **

**Wheatley**: What in the world is Slender?

**Oh, just a video game ;-) Just go into that dark room and play it while we move onto the next dare.**

**Wheatley**: O-ok. This isn't going to hurt is it?

***Shoves into room without answering and locks door***

**Next dare is for Cave Johnson! You are dared to...do whatever you'd like to with 1,000,000,000 combusible lemons!**

**Cave: **Heck yeah!

**Caroline**:...What have you done...

**Cave: ***Standing in front of Black Mesa's CEO's house which is burning down* What do you mean by that?

**...Anyway, let's get back to Wheatley! *knocks on door* **

**Wheatley**: Please...make it stop! The stinking Faceless monster...It's coming!

**Ugh, fine. *opens door***

**Wheatley: ***runs out* *holds onto GLaDOS's ankles* Please! Don't leave me alone in here!

**GLaDOS**: Get _off _of me you moron!

**Well I guess that's all for today! Remember to leave more dares in the review box! **

**A.N: All the robots in this story are androids, thus Wheatley "grabbing GLaDOS's ankles". Just thought I'd say this so there wasn't any confusion.**

**((I do not own any of the characters in this story, they belong to Valve. The only person that belongs to me is Myself!))**


	3. Chapter 3 Confessions and Rap Battles

**Hello! Here I am with the Portal gang, with Chapter 3! I have dares for Chell and GLaDOS, Dr. Rattman and Cave Johnson, Wheatley and Chell, and GLaDOS and...Hatsune Miku!**

**Chell**:...I got a dare with GLaDOS...this is either going to be awkward or fun...

**GLaDOS**: I always seem to get the dares that involve stupid questions or the fatty.

**You too are dared to...switch places for an **_**entire**_** day!**

**GLaDOS**: _Don't even dare to-_*shorts out*

**Chell**: This isn't a good ide-*passes out*

***Plugs Chell up to the chasis and takes GLaDOS out***

**Chell**: _Ugh, what just happened? *looks at self* Did you really-_

**GLaDOS**: _**What did you do to us? I am not a filthy test subject! Put me back in MY stasis!**_

**Well this will be interesting...**

**Chell**:_ Wait...if I'm in the chasis...and She's not..._

**GLaDOS: **_**Don't even think about it.**_

**Chell**: _Oh...this is going to be fun._

**Well...obviously Chell has fallen victum to the testing euphoria. Next dare! Dr. Rattman and Cave johnson...you are dared to...have an epic rap battle!**

**Cave**: I think we all know who will win.

**Rattman**: Do I get any say in thi-

**Cave**: Oh hey look! It's a little schizophrenic, and he scared that he's not got gonna win it! He's creeping around like he owns the place, but face it kid, it's gonna blow up in your face! I'm the CEO, you have just become my foe, even Caroline knows, you should get the back row. Because when she hooks up, you ain't gonna have no luck, so you better back up before she makes you whine like a pup.

**Rattman**:...What was that? Were you trying to rap? That just sounded like a dying cat! I have Chell, she don't take no crap, especially when someone calls her fat. We just make a team, so you better lean, away from us, because we're keen. Are you trying to offend me? That was pathetic. So bad that I might just need a medic. You are such a fool, and such a tool, GLaDOS is the one who is now in rule. At least I'm alive, so give me a high-five, because apperantly, it's hard to survive.

**Well then...that was interesting. Not sure who won though! You guys can vote. Next dare! this dare is for...Wheatley and Chell! You are dared to...*whispers in Wheatley's ear***

**Wheatley**: *optics widen* You want me to WHAT?!

**Wheatley**: F-fine. I'll bloody tell her. *taps on Chell's shoulder*

**Chell**: _Ugh. What do you want? I'm busy._

**Wheatley**: I-I'm sorry...I just need to tell you something.

**Chell**: _What?_

**Wheatley**: Well...see, the thing is...I think you're bloody brilliant. You took down Her by yourself, you nearly escaped Aperture by yourself, and you escaped _me_. You're capable, beautiful, and overall amazing. And I love you.

**Chell**: *not sure if she should be disgusted or flattered* _I..._

**Chell**: _Why on earth do you think I would love you back. The ONE TIME I put my trust into you, you betrayed me. You not only refused to let me go, but you tried to kill me multiple times. I trusted you Wheatley. And you threw that all away._

**Wheatley**: But I-

**Chell**: _Shut up you moron. _

**That was kind of harsh...I guess I'll move onto the next dare then...**

**GLaDOS, you are dared to do a duet with Hatsune Miku!**

**GLaDOS**: _**Who...?**_

**Hatsune: **こんにちは！(Hello!)

**GLaDOS**: _**What is this pigtailed abomination?!**_

**Hatsune**: すみません！私はちょうどあなたのようにアンドロイドです。あなたはより多くの敬意で私を扱う必要があります。(Excuse me! I am an android just like you. You should treat me with more respect.)

**GLaDOS**: _**I'm supposed to...harmonize with this thing?**_

**Yep! Why don't you two sing...Bacterial Contamination?**

**GLaDOS**: _***sigh* Fine**_

**Hatsune: **"We have reached a decision.  
From now on, we'll all ignore her.  
Anyone involved with her,  
let us all humiliate them."

**GLaDOS**: I have heard that I was marked,  
I have heard the whispers utter it,  
"Doesn't she get on your nerves?"  
Everything went on just like that.

**Hatsune**: Contaminated by bacteria,  
I got stuck in this situtation!  
My heart has been eaten away,  
It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts...

**GLaDOS**: Doesn't matter if I want a cure,  
No one wants a friend like me anyway  
Doesn't matter how much "I'm in pain"  
No place on this earth can relieve my scars

**Hatsune**: Everyone has rejected me  
What do you want with me, anyway?  
My heart's in a million shards  
Where am I going to go..?

**GLaDOS**: I want to take them all down with me,  
want to infect them so that I can heal,  
Tainting them will make me feel better

**Hatsune**: She was kind enough to lend me her hand,  
even kind enough to say "I'm sorry."  
I promised to apologize to her

**Together: **Contaminated by bacteria,  
Why should I believe you, you're not worth it!  
"Rationale" was eaten away,  
My whiteness has been corrupted  
The bacterial plague has spread,  
Even if you were to toughen up,  
if you even survived it,  
it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts... 

**Hatsune: **Bacterial Contamination...

**GLaDOS: **The contamination is gone,  
I am feeling so much better  
now that I infected her,  
Aha aha aha, ahahaha!

**Together**: _Everyone is infected now,  
Fatal wounds have forced them to jump off,  
ending their lives after contact  
They can't even die with grace!  
The bacterial plague has spread  
No one is around here, none of you  
Now I find myself all alone,  
it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts,  
it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts,  
it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts,  
it hurts..._

**GLaDOS: **_**That was stupid. **_

**Let's check in on Chell!**

**Chell**: _What is up with GLaDOS singing about her feelings._

**It's time to put GLaDOS back into the chassis Chell!**

**Chell**: _Wait I-_

***Unplugs Chell and put GLaDOS back in* There we go!**

**Chell**: What just happened? I was in the chassis...and I was making GLaDOS go through tests...and Wheatley said...wait...

**Wheatley: **It was just a dare! I-I wouldn't actually say that *laughs nervously*

**Chell**: I guess that makes sense...*whispering* _I guess I should've known he wouldn't feel that way for a "Smelly Human"..._

**Wheatley**: Hmm?

**Chell**: Nothing...just talking to myself again...

**That's it for this chapter! Remember to review and dare! And sorry about my terrible rap battle...and sorry to the Chelley shippers. I don't hate the ship, it's actually my OTP, it's just that Chell was basically adopting the Testing Euphoria, and the chassis was corrupting her, so she reacted a little differently. (But I guess I made up for it at the end) *shot***

**((I do not own Portal 2 or any of it's characters))**


	4. Chapter 4 small notes

**Hey guys...I'm gonna ask you to stop asking questions until I get the next Chapters up. I just can't keep up with them all! So anyway, I want to thank all of you for Reviewing, and just being nice in general. I'm still trying to catch up on my writing skills, and I'm glad that so many people like this. I ALSO want to thank you for all of the Chelley dares, considering they're my babies ^.^ and that being said, those are not the only pairing dares you can submit! You can ask for GLaDley, Angerality, Spacosity, almost anything! BUT, I won't write m/m or f/f. I'm probably going to get a lot of hate for that, but I don't want to talk about why. I'm not going to be mad if you ship any of those pairings, everyone is entitled to their own opinions. I'm just not going to write that. So I guess that's all I have to say for now...bye!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Oh my...I have so many dares 0.0 I'm gonna have to ask you people to stop daring until I get the next dares finished...I just can't deal with so many! Anyway, thank you for reading and reviewing, because honestly I can't write very good. Anyway, I have dares for Wheatley, Cave Johnson, and everyone! Wheatley, you are dared to say if you have **_**ever **_**loved Chell!**

**Wheatley**: Uhhhhh...Kind-of-i-guess-i-don't-really-feel-like- talking-about it...

**Well then...I guess it's time for the next dare, Cave, you are dared to...tell us if the cores have ever been human, and if so, how did they become cores/androids?**

**Cave**: That is classified information!

**Caroline**: You have to tell them sir...

**Cave**: But-! Ugh fine. Yes, they were once human. Morality was the bagel girl, Anger was an intern, Space was the kid of one of the scientists, Wheatley was one of the denied test subjects, Curiosity was the same as space, Fact was one of the most annoying workers we had, Logic was one of the workers in the cafeteria, and Rick was one of the test subjects. And the same as GLaDOS, they were all put in for brain transfers. Happy Now?!

**Yes! That actually is kind of cruel, considering none of them wanted that...anyway, next dare! Everyone is dared to play the Park Bench Improv game!**

**Chell**: *sighs* ... *rests head on hand*

**Wheatley: **Oh man alive It's hot out here! I can't believe it! *sits down next to Chell* terrible day isn't it love!

**Chell**: *rolls eyes* *eyes Wheatley*

**Wheatley**: I just don't get how your sitting out here without sweating like a dog! It's just so humid! I don't think it's safe to sit out here for so long, I just don't have a choice. Why are you feeding the birds though? They're dangerous you kno-hey where are you going?

**Chell: ***frowns* *leaves*

**Wheatley**: *pouts* Whatever...

**GLaDOS**: *sits next to Wheatley* Oh. Hello moron. I see that you're mad about something. Probably something stupid.

**Wheatley**: Uh...Hello...

**GLaDOS**: What? Are you afraid of me? *laughs* Maybe you aren't a total moron.

**Wheatley**: I don't have to deal with this. *walks away*

**GLaDOS**: See you later moron! *chuckles to self*

**Caroline**: Hello. *sits down next to GLaDOS*

**GLaDOS**: Just because you're a past version of me does not mean you should follow me.

**Caroline**: I don't follow you, GLaDOS. I just appear in the same places as you. *frowns*

**GLaDOS**: Whatever. I own Aperture now. You aren't a threat to me. *rolls eyes*

**Caroline: **Well technically WE own Aperture. I am you.

**GLaDOS**: Ugh. Don't even start with that nonsense. *leaves*

**Caroline**: Well then...

**Anger: ***sits down next to Caroline* OH GREAT. ANOTHER ONE OF YOU SNOT BAGS. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

**Caroline**: I'm sitting here. What is it to you?

**Anger: **THOUGHT I MIGHT AS WELL ASK. EVERYONE'S BEEN TELLING ME TO BE MORE "POLITE" TO EVERYONE. SO I GUESS I TRIED. BE HONERED.

**Caroline**: Um...thank you?

**Anger**: SO I GUESS THAT YOU ARE HERE BECAUSE YOU'RE FOLLOWING GLaDOS. WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DO THAT ANYWAY?

**Caroline**: I have my reasons. It's none of your business.

**Anger**: SHEESH. ALL I DO IS ASK A QUESTION AND YOU ACT RUDE.

**Caroline**: I am not being rude. I am simply telling you that it is my private matters, Ross.

**Anger**: WHATEVER.

**Caroline**: I have to go find GLaDOS. See you later. *waves goodbye and leaves*

**Anger**: LIKE I CARE.

**Morality**: There you are. I was starting to get worried. *sits down*

**Anger**: UGH SCREW OFF AMY.

**Morality: **I'm just trying to make sure that _everyone _is safe here since I'm the only one who will bother to. Wheatley is to clumsy, Craig has to much pride, Space and Curi are to immature, Rick is to chaotic, Logic can't pay attention to anything, and you...

**Anger**: WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO SAY. TELL ME TO MY FACE.

**Morality**: I am just saying,that since no one is going to even try to keep us from dying, that I feel obligated to.

**Anger**: LEAVE ME ALONE. I DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT THESE IDIOTS ANYMORE. *walks away*

**Morality**: *sighs in annoyance* The things I do for these people...

**Space**: Hey space friend! *sits down*

**Morality: **Hello Space.

**Space: **I saw Space today!

**Morality**: Well that's nice...

**Space**: Space friend seems sad! Why are you sad, space friend?

**Morality**: Oh, I am not sad. I'm just frustrated with Ross. He's been really hard to look after lately...

**Space: **Space! I see space again! see! *grabs her hand and points at sky*

**Morality**: Yes...I see it. I must go find Ross and apologize. *leaves*

**Space**: Goodbye space friend!

**Curi**: Hello Space! What are you looking at? Why are you sitting there? Why is the sun so bright today? *sits next to him*

**Space**: That's space!

**Curi**: Oh! How big is it? it looks really big! where are the stars?

**Space: **It's REALLY big! And it's to bright for stars right now! Do you want to be space buddies?

**Curi: **Sure! Are we going to go to space? Do you like space?

**Space**: If I go to space you can come too! I LOVE space! It's full of planets and asteroids! Space is fun!

**Curi**: Why is space big?

**Space: **Because it's Space!

**Curi**: Oh, yay!

**Space: **Oh look, it's space! Come back here! *Runs away*

**Curi**: Where are you going...?

**Curi**:...

**Cave**: *frowns* *sits down next to Curi*

**Curi**: Who are you? Why are you mad?

**Cave**: Who am I?! I am Cave Johnson! How do you not know that?!

**Curi**: *is surprised that he yelled so loud* ...

**Cave**: And it's none of your business why I'm mad!

**Curi**: *gets up and leaves out of fear*

**Cave**: Ugh, whatever.

**Logic**: *is reciting cake recipe while walking* *sits down*

**Cave**: *frowns at him*

**Logic**: *continues reciting*

**Cave**: Do you say anything else?

**Logic**: *ignores him*

**Cave**: *rolls eyes* *leaves*

**Logic: ***rambles on*

**A/N: Well then! that's everybody I guess! That's all for this chapter. I've got sooooooooooo many dares I CAN'T KEEP UP WITH THEM. Anyway, the reason why some of the characters weren't in the Improv game was because it was taking to long and, well, I got lazy. Sorry for the wait though! I've been busy with school and other crap (like trying to catch up on HS).**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hallo! Here I am again...you know...me...ANYWAY! Today I have three dares for GLaDOS and Rick, Space, and Chell and Wheatley. Chell and Wheatley first! So, you two are dared to...listen to the Scariest Creepypasta reading I can find! Now, I want to note that not many Creepypastas really **_**scared **_**me, so I just chose my favorite! **

**Chell: Uh...**

**Wheatley: Erm, I don't exactly know what a 'Creepypasta' is...**

**Oh don't worry! You'll find out...*turns on reading of 'Funny Mouth' by Mr. Creepypasta***

**Chell: *stares at screen in concentration***

**Wheatley: *gets nervous***

**Let's leave them alone for now and go on to our next dares! Space, you are dared to...mute yourself for three hours! **

**Space: *gets confused***

**You can't talk for a long time okay? *sighs in relief***

**Next dare! GLaDOS, you and Rick are dared to...slow dance to a really mushy love song!**

**GLaDOS: *eye twitches***

**Rick: What? Scared of good 'ol Rick? *smirks***

**GLaDOS: Let's just get this over with...**

***turns on Thousand Years by Christina Perry***

**~Later~ **

**GLaDOS: Ugh! This is stupid. *breaks radio* Oops~**

**Well then...that wasn't harsh at all...**_**that was my only radio**_**. **

**GLaDOS: And I care because?**

**Rick: Well that was a short slow dance...**

**GLaDOS: Too long in my opinion.**

**Rick: I think it was just long enough~**

**GLaDOS: I will not hesitate to send you to android hell.**

**Well...let's see how Chell and Wheatley are doing!**

**Wheatley: *is holding onto Chell's arm for dear life***

**Chell: *blank expression***

**Well...I can see who was making all the girly screams.**

**Wheatley: I WAS NOT!**

**I never said you were~**

**A/N: Well that was a short chapter...I have a habit of using triple dots. Well I'm glad there was a creepypasta question because **_**I love them**_**. Anyway, Ciao!**


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